I never considered myself a “cat person”. I had house-sat for cats before. Had friends or family members who had cats and they were fine. I always thought they were sneaky, quiet, and mostly kept to themselves. I never envisioned myself having a cat of my own.
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| Bailey loved lounging in his hammock. (Jan 2006, MI) |
My sister, Keri, was in Veterinary Technician School in 2001. It was the part of her classes when they had rotations of shelter animals and cared for them. She went on and on about this one kitten. How his coloring was so unique, his tail looked like a raccoon’s, and he was so sweet. It was suspected that he had been born earlier that spring. She insisted he was so personable and that there was just something special about him. Late in September Keri told me that “Bailey” (what she had unofficially named that special kitten) was going to be available for adoption at the animal adoption event at the Detroit Zoo the last weekend in September. My roommate had recently moved out so I was living all by myself. Keri insisted that adopting Bailey would be a good idea. She claimed he was such an amazing cat and there’s no way I wouldn’t love him instantly. I was going to be visiting Aaron in South Bend that weekend, so I couldn’t go get Bailey, but after thinking about it and letting Keri wear me down, I agreed. If she could go to the adoption event and get Bailey, I’d adopt him. On Saturday, September 29th, Keri and a friend managed to sneak into the zoo’s adoption event pretending to be staff. She was worried that if they waited in line, someone else would surely snatch up Bailey. She brought him home to my house and waited for me to get back in town. As it turns out, Bailey’s addition to our family would have significance for my dear sister as that next day she would learn that her dear friend, Bryan, had died in a car crash. Instantly, Bailey stepped up, as he would at every time a snuggle was needed over the next 11 years, and comforted Keri during an impossibly difficult time.
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Bailey loved stretching out and being near the action.
(Oct 2010, KY) |
I named him Bailey James. Yes, a middle name. Some people find it strange that I’d give my cat a middle name. To me, it just made sense. There would inevitably be times when I need to scold him and it just sounds better to use a first and middle name when scolding. Keri named him Bailey because the majority of his hair was cream colored like Bailey’s Irish Cream. I added the James because, well, Bailey James just had a good ring to it. So, Bailey James it was. Though, over the years a list of nicknames would be used. Whether I was calling him Bailey, Bailey James, Bailer, Bailey Jamison, Bailey Baby, Bubba, Bubba James, Bubba Joe, Bubbers, Bubbie, or Hubba Bubba, there was always the same beautiful cat listening to me.
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Getting some love from the kids on his last night
home. Clara and Colton were so happy to have
Bailey home. (Jul 2012, KY) |
That’s how Bailey’s story starts. The rest is a beloved history. There is so much I never want to forget. I’m sure all cat-lovers think their kitties are the best; that their cats are the most clever, loving, playful felines who ever graced the Earth. That doesn’t matter to me. My Bailey is at the top of all those lists in my mind. There are so many wonderful, silly, adorable memories I have of my Bailer and I never want those memories to fade. A pet is a special part of a family and I want Clara and Colton to know about him. I know Colton is too young and he probably won’t remember Bailey. Clara, she’s four now, she may remember, especially with all the pictures there are of him. This story is so Bailey can live on in my memory, their memory, and for anyone else who loved him.
These things that made him special, the things that remind me of Bailey, are what I want to preserve. Although, it’s all these things that are right now making me cry, I know they will one day make me smile and warm my heart with the love I have for my Bailey James.
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| Playing baby dolls with Clara. (May 2009, TX) |
Bailey was quite a playful and curious cat. Particularly in his younger years, he never was in short supply of crazy antics to make me laugh and smile. Bailey had a knack for turning anything into toy. All he needed was a loose thread hanging on the sheets we were folding, a string on clothing or a kitchen towel, a Barbie accessory or a car on the floor, or any myriad of everyday objects in our home, to let loose and play. Mostly he left me with expressions of “Really?” or “How the heck…?” I used to “set up” situations so that he would be tempted to repeat his tricks just so I could catch him doing it and figure out the “how the heck…?” Bailer was quite curious about flames. There was a streak of times where I knew I had a candle lit and then after I’d leave then return to a room the candle would be out. Sure, a draft or a breeze may have been the culprit, but I was suspicious. Then I caught him. Bailey would sit carefully beside the candle for a minute or two simply staring at the flame. Then, just like that, he’d lick his paw and snuff out the flame. Really, I can’t make this stuff up. I imagine that he may have been attempting the same feat when he burned his whiskers on the flame of my gas burning stove. Yep, that only happened once.
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| Sneaky kitty! (Mar 2011, KY) |
Bailey loved all my house plants. Over the years I have clean up and re-potted dozens of times, all thanks to my Bailey. Some of them were big enough that he would actually climb up and sit smack dab in the middle of the pot and chomp on the leaves. There’s a plant behind the kitchen sink that Bailey was particularly fond of. It has leaves on it that have “nibbles” taken out of them. If we were going out of town for a while I had to move all the plants to the bathroom and close the door. I never tempted fate to find out what would happened if Bailer was left home alone long enough and decided to “replant” on his own. There is one plant in particular that took up permanent residence in our bathtub because it was less likely to fall over if unbalanced by Bailey. And, besides if it did topple it was much easier to clean up on the tile, than on the carpet. Now Charlotte, my spider plant, can move to the living room and get a little more light. Yes, I name my plants; my cat had a middle name, naming my plants shouldn’t be that surprising.
Bailey liked to answer the phone. So much so that I eventually had to disconnect the corded phone I kept by my bed. It didn’t matter where in the house he’d be, if he heard the phone ring he’d run clear across the house and knock that phone off its base. When he couldn’t do that anymore he learned to knock the cordless phone off the base it was charging on, which would then automatically answer without having to press the button.
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| Mr. Photogenic! (Oct 2010, KY) |
Do many cats flush the toilet? I don’t know, but mine did! Obviously I wasn’t around 24/7 so I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure he only did it while I was in the shower. It was quite interesting watching him do it, and I wish I had a picture, but like I said, usually only happened while I was showering. Bailey would get beside the toilet, stretch upward, manage to contort his body, and twist his paws around the handle in a way that created enough leverage to pull the handle and flush. What happened next is almost as great. Instantly, after the flush, he’d hop onto the usually open seat and watch the water swirl. He probably had no idea that the instant flush of cold water sent a too-hot spray of water through my shower head, he just liked to see the water swirl. The timing with showers has more to do with the fact that my Bailey simply liked to be where I was. He was usually under foot. Which would explain that when I had my house in Ferndale, MI and the tub/shower had a shower curtain, Bailey would climb in between the outer and inner curtains, sit on the tub ledge and either paw at me from behind the curtain or peak his head around the corner to check up on me. If he wasn’t doing that, he was happily lounging on the bathroom floor just waiting for me. And, if he wasn’t waiting patiently, he was digging in the trash. He was usually digging for band-aids. If there was a band-aid he would find it, take it in his mouth and run off to play with it. I’m sure he chewed up and swallowed pieces of some which quickly prompted me to adopt a “band-aids go in the kitchen trash” rule. A rule that Aaron also had to adopt once we were married and living together. The kitchen trash wasn’t always safe either. In Ferndale I had to place a heavy wood block on top of the lidded trash can because Bailey would open the lid and pull the can over.
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| Assuming the position.... (Jan 2006, MI) |
My kitty loved to play fetch. He loved those little mini koosh balls and rope wrapped mice with catnip inside. I even tied one of those koosh balls to the end of a long piece of ribbon so I could throw it to him and then pull it around to tease him or easily retrieve the ball when he wouldn’t bring it all the way back to me. Yeah, I know that’s lazy, but I prefer to think of it as resourceful. I didn’t trust him alone with those toys because even while supervised he’d play with and bite them enough that he’d nearly eat them. I decided I had to hide them when they weren’t being played with. I tossed them in a kitchen drawer. One day I came home and there was a chewed up koosh ball on the floor. What? I know it had been in the drawer. After many attempts to figure out what the heck happened I caught him in the act. Fully suspended with front paws on the drawer handle, back paws on the cabinet door beneath, throwing his weight back and just like, that drawer open, cat on counter retrieving hidden koosh balls and cat nip mice. It was then that I started hiding them in the linen closet. When he figured that out and learned to open that silly, simple accordion door, I had to resort to hiding them in a box, behind the towels, in the closet. His other favorite playthings of crinkly toys and feather sticks were much safer and could be left out in the open when I wasn’t around. Crazy cat!
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| ...and, he's in! (Jan 2006, MI) |
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| Please let me up, Clara! (Mar 2009, TX) |
Bailer could open not only drawers, but cabinets as well. Usually a pretty safe hobby. He’d open up a cabinet, climb inside, climb out and leave the door open. Climbing into cabinets became a little more risky once child latches came along. He never seemed to learn that if he quietly climbed in the cabinet under the sink if I left it open and I closed it not knowing who was hiding inside, that he’d be trapped. On that note, how a cat that can manage to open a door enough to climb inside a cabinet cannot figure out how to push it open is beyond me. Several times I’d wonder what a mysterious knocking sound was coming from the kitchen, only to discover that it was Bailey trying to open the pantry door….from the inside, no latch on that one. Then there was the time after we’d just moved to Rineyville, KY and I heard meowing and scratching in the master bathroom. A quick investigation revealed a beautiful cat stuck beneath the garden tub. Apparently the cabinets beneath it opened and our cat had gone exploring but had been unable to get out. It took a decent amount of catnip and coaxing to remove our dusty cat. Once he’d been discovered he’d apparently decided it was a good hiding place and safe to stay hidden. Child latches were quickly installed so that we wouldn’t have a repeat. Who knew what nasty spiders held up residence there, and besides, if the cat figured it out, it was only a matter of time before the kids did the same. Once the safety gates came alone Bailey was confronted with yet another challenge. In Killeen he could get up on the back of the couch and leap over the gate at the bottom of the stairs. But the gate at the top was another story. He tried and tried to conquer that one. He just couldn’t get up over it. I have fond memories of him sitting on one side with Clara on the other “pawing” and playing with each other as he waited for me to come let him upstairs. In Rineyville, I imagine he was much happier because he could squeeze through the slats along the staircase to surpass those pesky gates.
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| Mr. Mischievous, ready to play. (Aug 2008, TX) |
Speaking of hiding spaces, my Bailey was a master hider. Just when I thought I knew all his hiding places, Bailey would go and find a new one. He shared three houses with us in his 11 years. Each house meant the chance to discover new places to hide and to get “lost” when I just couldn’t find him. Furniture would be rearranged, allowing access to spaces up high he never had before. And, perched up high is just where my Bailer liked to be. In Ferndale it was on window sill completely concealed by vertical blinds, on top of the curio cabinet curled up flat so I had to climb on to the arm of the couch to see him, curled up in the bookshelves, behind the furnace and washing machine/dyer. In Killeen, TX it was once again the curio cabinet, on top of the hutch of the desk in the spare room, on top of the kitchen cabinets, and again behind the dryer. Our first Christmas in Killeen I decorated the top of the kitchen cabinets with garland and silk poinsettias. That was the last Christmas I did that because they were nothing but a “Bailey magnet” and the flowers never stayed up there for longer than a few hours. In Rineyville it was again the top of the cabinets, but here he would often get stuck. There was only a small space on the counter from where he could leap to and from the top of the kitchen cabinets. If I didn’t know he was up there and something was placed on that spot, Bailey wouldn’t be brave enough to jump down. Bailey had his favorite places up high where he would just rest and watch the world beneath. I have beloved images of him perched up in the laundry room window in Michigan and the loft window in Texas. Watching him walk those long, narrow ledges without loosing his balance always made me a bit nervous. When there was a crib in the house Bailey liked hiding under it. Many nights it would take us hearing his meow over the monitor to realize he had been locked in there with the slumbering baby. No matter what house we were living in, I’m sure Bailey looked forward to sweater weather. Getting out my sweaters meant they would eventually need to be washed and that meant the sweater racks came out. He loved curling up at the bottom of the stacked racks on my sweaters. They usually stayed there longer than it took to dry them, so by the time I went to put them away the ones at the bottom were covered in Bailey hair.
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Bailey and Clara playing with
their new slide. (Sept 2009, TX) |
Bailey James was an explorer. Bailey was an indoor cat, and I think he had a difficult time some days ignoring the feline instinct to explore new territories. We were forever having to close doors quickly and make sure they were shut completely because Bailey James was certain to escape if given the opportunity. He was forever trying to sneak into the storage room in the basement here in Rineyville. I wasn’t a fan of this because there are too many nooks and crannies and things to get into and knock over. This got harder and harder as the kids got older and wanted to be more independent with coming and going. There were handfuls of times I’d found him prowling the porch, wandering the patio, or sniffing in flower beds. I’d pick up my kitty give him a smooch on the nose and get him back inside the safety of our home. Once, in Ferndale, the drop-down staircase leading to the attic had been left unattended, and so had Bailey. I had to retrieve him from his heavenly adventure climbing through the inches deep insulation in the attic. Most recently, while getting the kids loaded up in the car in the garage, I heard a very familiar meowing coming from somewhere near by – not from behind the closed door of the house. Peaking from between the lattice underneath our porch was sweet Bailey’s petite head. I still have no idea how he got out, but he did and he managed to find the one broken piece of lattice and gotten himself stuck under the porch. Clara, Colton and I diligently used catnip, tomatoes, milk, toys, and even chicken to lure him out. It seems he merely wanted to let us know where he was before we left; he didn’t really want to come out. He was enjoying chilling on the cool dirt and playing with bugs. I was getting frantic because I had to get the kids to daycare, I had to get to work, and I would most definitely not leave him there all day in the hot, humid, weather. I was preparing to break more lattices and crawl under the darn porch myself. Our clever Clara eventually found a long stick which Bailey must have thought was nifty, because he came to check it out and I was able to snatch him up. Most memorable and heart wrenching was the night in Texas that we brought our two-day old Clara home from the hospital. We had put Clara to sleep in her bassinet and I went in search of Bailey James. He wasn’t in his usual spots, but I figured he was probably put off by the new “creature” we’d dare bring into HIS home. My mom, Aaron, and I searched high and low. Bailer was no where to be found. Aaron eventually found him under the Jeep in the driveway. The door to the garage had not been shut well and Bailey had escaped. Apparently, he didn’t know what to do, so he just hid under the car and waited. Another adventure in Ferndale resulted in what would be Bailey’s first and only bath. I had just brought my new car home from being rust-proofed and paint protected. Bailey got into the garage and curiously explored under the car. By the time I got him out Bailey James was also rust-proof and paint protected! He had sticky, gooey black stuff all over his immaculate cream colored hair. The bath did not go well, to say the least. He was most certainly traumatized, I was scratched up and covered in cat hair, and he was still dirty. I had managed to get most of the gunk off, but the rest just eventually was brushed out or shed off.
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| The master of relaxing. (Mar 2009, TX) |
Like most cats, Bailey was king of relaxing whenever and wherever his precious heart so desired. Whether it was in the corner of the couch, under the table on a kitchen chair, basking in the sun on the floor, in his bed outside our bedroom door, on the sill of an open window taking in the fresh air, snuggled up beside me while I worked on the computer, snuggled up on my chest while I lay on the couch (especially if I was covered up with our favorite cow blanket) or taking a nap together on the bed or couch, Bailey was always comfortable and peaceful. As long as you didn’t bug him! Any child who dare disturb Bailey during a “cat nap” was likely to be swatted at or ignored as he jumped up and pranced away. He absolutely loved when we were scratching his chin, massaging behind his ears, and even rubbing his belly. These things were instant purr box triggers. We have an old yellow upholstered chair that has always been Bailey’s chair. In Ferndale, it was one of his favorite spots to snooze. In Killen and again in Rineyville, he had to share it with Clara as it was used in her room. There will always be Bailey hair on that chair, there’s no way we’ll ever get it all out. And now, I’ll probably want to hang on to that ugly chair for a very long time.
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| Kisses from Clara. (Apr 2011, KY) |
There are so many little things that just seemed to make Bailey, Bailey. The things he did regularly that all weaved together into the personality of quite a unique kitty. Things like him loving to wait at the bottom of stairs to chase a treat I’d toss down to him. This started in Ferndale with the 3 steps that led from the kitchen down to the family room. Each night after he and I were done playing and/or snuggling I’d get up and go to the kitchen. My Bailey would automatically wait at the bottom of the steps crouched down waiting for me to toss that treat. He must have loved how they bounced on the steps and the challenge to track them down. Our house wasn’t set up the same in Killeen, so the opportunity wasn’t there. But, as soon as we moved into our Rineyville house, there was Bailey, at the bottom of the basement stairs after we’d come up from a night of watching TV, waiting for his treat to bounce down the steps. Bailey was continuously jumping up onto the kitchen counter, weather it was to try and steal a chunk of tomato on taco night, get a lick of the cutting board while I was preparing chicken, munch on the leaves of plants or flowers, steal food from the bucket we kept beside the sink because we had no garbage disposal, dip his paw in a glass of milk or water, open up the pizza box and enjoy some pepperoni, or just knock things off the counter because he was bored. If he wasn't trying to get at something, Bailey was known to think it was just fine if he sprawled out and relaxed right there on the counter or the kitchen table. Colton was our little "kitty cop" and would quickly and enthusiastically delcare, "Kitty, DOWN! Mommy! Kitty, down, NOW!!!"
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"Yes? Did you need something? I'm trying to groom
myself here." (Oct 2010, KY) |
Bailey was always trying to bite the diamond on my wedding ring or knock the glasses right off my face. I guess he figured if it was me, anything was fair game. If I was folding laundry, he was often right there hopping into the basket of warm laundry, making it difficult for me to fold them, and kind of negating the task of having just washed them, as they were then instantly full of cat hair. And, there was something about the sound of the furnace/air conditioning kicking on. In Ferndale and Killeen there were so many times that as soon as Bailey heard that noise he’d run to wherever the unit was in the house and just watch it for a bit. Was he trying to figure out what it was? Was he bothered that he couldn’t get to that part of the house in Rineyville? We will never know. Although he seemed to enjoy the sound of the air or heat, Bailey did not like the vacuum. If it was rolled out he was quickly on guard. As soon as it was turned on he was gone. He’d high-tail it upstairs if we were vacuuming downstairs and high-tail it back downstairs when the vacuum made its way up there.
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| Paw-feeding himself. (Jan 2006, MI) |
The last several months of his life, Bailey decided he would much rather play with the water in his bowl than simply lap it up. There would be puddles of water all over the mat and floor around his bowl and plenty of soggy food. He often would run low on water and I was constantly wiping up and refilling Bailey’s water. The soggy food was nasty! Soggy cat food smells bad and for some reason makes me gag. But, I loved my Bailey so it had to be taken care of. When he wasn’t sogging up his food, he was eating it – with his paws! This was by far one of the craziest things I’ve seen an animal do. He would just scoop up a kernel of his food in his front paw and bring it to his mouth. He did this regularly for as long as I remember. Clara and I never bored of watching it. And when he was done eating, Bailey would almost certainly disappear for a while. It didn’t matter if it was breakfast or dinner, if he was all full, he was off to digest and sleep where he knew he wouldn’t be bothered.
Despite the fact that Bailey was an indoor cat, he never lost his natural hunting instincts. All he needed was a spider or cricket to stalk in the basement, a fly in the house to chase, or bubbles blown by or for the kids, Bailey was one happy hunter. Bailey’s prey didn’t even need to be in the house for him to chase it. All he needed was some birds in the yard or on the porch railing or a neighbor’s cat prowling Bailey’s territory on the other side of the window and he would “chase” them from window to window. I loved seeing his tail get all busy and the funny chirpy, clicky sounds he made while he was on the prowl.
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Bailer, finally relaxed and at home after our first
big move. (Sept 2007, TX) |
Bailey was very insistent cat. If he wanted or needed something he did not hesitate to let me know. His meow could be heard from outside. If we were coming home in the afternoon all we had to do was step out of the car and we would hear Bailey calling to us from behind the door to the house. Even if all he needed was a little love he’d walk by me and hop up a bit as he rubbed his head on my legs. If Aaron or I ever dared to take the opportunity to sleep in, Bailey would often interrupt our slumber by meowing and scratching at the bedroom door asking to eat. Yet, some days it was as if he knew we deserved a little extra sleep and he’d just snuggle in his bed outside our room and wait for us to wake up. If I happened to wake up before I needed to I’d get up and feed Bailey then go back to bed. That was a heck of a lot easier and nicer for him, than having him go all crazy and wake me up later. If Bailer heard the alarm go off from behind the door and it went off what he considered too many times, he’d be there scratching at the door to claim his breakfast. He would sit by the windows and "talk" to me and paw at the window while I watered the flowers outside. If I left the bedroom once the door was closed and he was comfy in his bed, Bailey would grab my legs with his paws when I went back behind the closed door. I don’t think he liked being shut out of the room very much. But, if we let him in he’d hide under the bed and not even catnip would always lure him out. If left to stay in our room at night Bailey would wait for the perfect time (usually 1-2 in the morning) to pounce on the bed or knock something off the dresser and wake me up. Sleep is precious to me, so my poor kitty was resigned to stay on the other side of the door snuggled in his kitty bed.
Bailey liked to eat. And if he wanted food he would do whatever necessary to get your attention. I didn’t want to over feed Bailer, though if you saw him in the last few years you would never know that. I was strict with his feeding schedule and amount. He got three scoops of food. Two in the morning as soon as I woke up (or as soon as Bailey woke me up) and one in the afternoon. I tried very hard to keep that second scoop until after 3pm. If I wasn’t home, piece of cake. I’m not there so no one to bug. Bailey never bothered Aaron for this sort of thing. But, if I was home and it wasn’t 3pm and he was hungry, I was his prime target. Bailey would follow and cry and stalk and cry and pounce and cry. If I was trying to do bills or heaven forbid read or take a nap Bailey would pounce on my head and pull my hair. I tried hard to stay strong. If I fed him before 3pm he would very likely be bugging me for more food by the time evening rolled around. If I caved, I usually just decided to wait and give him his pumpkin that day until later in the afternoon.
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| My Christmas kitty. (Nov 2006, MI) |
Some of my most beloved memories of Bailey are from Christmas. I called him my Christmas kitty. I absolutely love Christmas. The lights, the decorations, the music, the spirit, all of it makes me so happy. Somehow, I managed to find myself a cat who felt the same way. All the boxes get unpacked and decorations come out Thanksgiving weekend at our house. Hanging up lights and garland with Bailey around was challenging and entertaining. He loved playing with the ends of the strings of lights and garland as they lay on the floor. And the silk poinsettias that decorate the staircase always had to be put back into place because Bailey would knock them down then bat them around the floor. As soon as the Christmas tree went up Bailey was there. He could be found lying beneath the tree basking in the warmth of the lights and often playing with some ornaments. Long before we had children I had to arrange the ornaments on the tree so that there were unbreakable ones on the bottom quarter of the branches, because Bailey would most definitely be batting at them. Before I moved away from Michigan I always had a real tree. It only took one Christmas with Bailey James around to learn that the tree needed to be in the house and bare for a few days before we decorated it to accommodate Bailey’s desire to explore. He would take those first couple days to sniff, inspect, and yes, climb the trunk. Climbing the trunk didn’t happen more than a couple times. I don’t think he was fond of getting stuck up in the tree. And, I don’t remember if it was the first or second Christmas, but it took me a while to realize he was drinking the water in the base of the tree! Bailey would settle himself beside the trunk and stick his paw in the base and then lick off the water. After I caught him I had to safety pin the tree skirt tightly around the base and get a long funnel to water the tree. I didn’t think it was a good idea for him to be drinking the water with the tree food I added to it.
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Waiting for the right moment
to pounce. (Sept 2007, TX) |
That was just one of many things I had to rearrange, change, or just plain give up because of my sweet, particular, persistent Bailey James. I went through a phase when I decided to take up needle point. My best friend had just had a baby and I picked out a Winnie the Pooh design to needle point for him. Needle point is not a hobby I could do with Bailey around. He was too interested in playing with the thread as I tried to pull the needle up and down through the canvas. It took me nearly 2 years to get it halfway done. By then I had decided that Zak, my friend’s son, was going to be way too old for Winnie the Pooh by the time I finished and I abandoned the project. Mopping the kitchen floor became a little more challenging because of Bailey’s regular serving of pumpkin. Somehow he managed to get splashes of pumpkin puree on the floor and that stuff dries hard and doesn’t mop up easily. Now, there will be daily “pumpkin” reminders of my Bailey James. The container that I used to store the pumpkin will now enter the rotation of regular plastic containers. I know that whenever that one gets grabbed I’ll think of him. We now have a case of canned pumpkin in the basement. Pumpkin had become hard to find year round so I bought two cases of it last fall. I guess I’ll be making a lot of pumpkin pies, muffins, and other goodies to use it up. Our kitchen calendar has an orange “P” in every other square. These were my reminders of which days my Bailer was supposed to get pumpkin. We figured out that every other day was the right amount of extra fiber my kitty needed. And I figured out it’s hard to keep track of every other day without marking it on the calendar; and I marked all 12 months when I put it up in January.
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| Bailey loved being curled up in his bed. (Mar 2009, TX) |
There are so many other things I’m going to miss about my sweet Bailey James; things that will never go away and will be held in my heart always. Reminders of Bailey are everywhere and the routine things we did so often have left empty spaces in my day. Bailey was always there to greet me when I came home and my heart sinksI walk in to the now empty house. The space by our bedroom door is so bare without his bed there. The kitchen towels with cats on them will make me smile even more now than they did before. No longer having to save the produce bags we used to scoop out his litter box when I unpack from grocery shopping. The strange brain-fart I have that made me call Bailey by Colton’s name and still makes me refer to Colton as Bailey sometimes. The bathroom where his litter box was kept looks so empty now and the laundry room door now swings open all the way because his food mat and bowls aren’t in the way to stop it. The bucket and scoop I used to clean out his litter box are missing from the garage. We no longer step on kernels of food as we walk through the kitchen. I loved how Colton would say “Owww. Ahh. Kitty food!” whenever he found one. Seeing the scratches on the top of the curio cabinet from where he’d climb down after lounging on top and the scratches on our bedroom dresser where he secluded himself when we moved to Texas will forever remind me of my Bailer. We will be finding Bailey hair on the carpet, on clothes, on furniture, and in the car forever. It will move with us to our next house, I’m sure of it. And I’m glad. I would never want to get rid of all of it, because even now it makes me smile when I find some. I won’t be picking up clumps of Bailey hair that were shed as he lay on the floor and scratched and slid down the length of the couch. Sweet Clara has collected a bunch of hair she found in one of his hiding places and placed it in a Ziploc bag so she can always have a part of Bailey with her at night. Bailey loved being brushed and it was one of my favorite special times with him. I’d put a towel on the dryer, he’d stand up on the towel and put his front legs on my shoulder as I brushed the length of his long body. It took a while, but Bailey eventually became very patient when I would trim his back claws. We’d sit on the toilet seat and get it done quickly. Over the years Bailey had some bouts of acne. He'd get the little black pimples under his chin. He learned to tolerate me washing his chin to help clear things up and even enjoyed me scratching it more when it was bugging him. I used to take Bailey out on a leash. When I lived in Ferndale, he and I would either go sit beneath the trees in the yard so he could roam the grass or we’d sit on the patio and I’d read while Bailer soaked up the rays and fresh air. We did this less often once the kids came along, but when we did he loved every moment. I love how he assumed a crouching position as soon as the leash went on. He was readying himself for the exploring he’d soon be doing, I think. Hearing the jingle of Bailey’s bell is something I will miss dearly. I miss it the most first thing in the morning. If the alarm went off or even if he just heard me stretch in bed, I would hear his bell jingle and know he was stretching and getting up from his bed, ready to start our day. Bailey would join me during my Xbox Kinect workouts. He would sometimes get in the way of the sensor and cause it to not work properly, or snuggle on the couch watching me, or he would crouch down on the floor face to face with me while I did push ups and get a kiss from me before I pushed back up. I will miss the sound of his sighs as he slumbered next to me on the couch and the sweet pitch of his meows and "talking" to each other. I will miss seeing his vibrant green eyes, full of love and curiosity. I will miss the scratchy feeling of his tongue on my nose and face as he gave me kisses. If the kids needed my attention in the middle of the night I’d give my Bailey a kiss before going back to our room because he was always snuggled in his bed outside out door. Clara says she will miss snuggling with him in the morning. I will miss opening the bedroom door on a Saturday or Sunday to find Clara curled up on the floor beside Bailey in his bed; the two of them quietly waiting for us to wake up.
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| Relaxing with my kitty, pregnant with Clara. (Oct 2007, TX) |
Bailey James was a person cat and I was his person. I was the one he followed and begged to, got mad at, snuggled with, loved best, and who loved him most. I’ll admit my sister Keri is a very close second. From the very beginning I quickly discovered that Bailey James was indeed a special cat. He was no quiet or loner kitty. Whatever I was doing, he was most likely not far from sight. If I was getting dinner ready, relaxing, watching TV, getting ready in the bathroom, getting the kids ready for bed, or whatever, my Bailey was always near. Sometimes he was too close and too quiet. Over the years I stepped on his tail or paws so many times because I didn’t realize he was right behind me. If he ran off with a shrieking cry I’d chase him down to apologize and kiss and hug my injured kitty. Naps and relaxing on the couch were always sweeter when Bailey joined me, which he often did. He’d either curl up in front of my chest or behind my knees as I lie on my side and recharge for a while. When it was time to go to bed he was snug in his bed outside my room. Whether or not he stayed there all night, I don’t know. But, when I would get up to tend to the kids in the middle of the night and wake up in the morning, I don’t remember many instances when he wasn’t there waiting for me.
With all those innocent moments there were bound to be a few when I wish Bailey hadn’t been there. The one that stands out in my mind was on a Saturday afternoon April 2007. I was at my desk working on the computer. I had a small roll-top desk in Michigan. Bailey liked to walk across the top the desk. That particular afternoon he walked along the top and knocked over a glass of water – onto the open laptop I was working on. Yep. Instantly fried the motherboard. The timing was superb as it was four weeks until our wedding and there were countless important files and gobs of details and mountains of valuable information relating to the big day on that very computer. Fortunately, the data was all saved and I ended up with a new laptop that I’m still using to this day.
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| Our first family picture with Clara. (Feb 2008, TX) |
For all those little times Bailey was there, even more important were all the major live transitions that he made with me. When I adopted Bailey I lived all by myself in my own house in Ferndale, MI. Aaron and I dated long distance and split our weekends between South Bend and Detroit. Bailey was there for me during disappointments and let me cry on him through heartaches. Bailey was there when Aaron and I got engaged and he joined the Army. He moved with me to Texas after Aaron and I got married. That was an adventure. Bailey did not like traveling in the car. Just going to the vet was an ordeal for him, and that was only 10 minutes away. We got him some sedatives and planned for a long drive. He did great in the car. It didn’t hurt that he was pretty sleepy. He did alright staying in the hotels. When we got to our house in Killeen I think it was all too much for him. Bailey was plopped into a new house and didn’t know what to make of it. He held himself up in the master bedroom. It was the only room that had furniture when we first got there. Poor Bailey must have been so freaked out. Our dresser still bears the marks of Bailey’s frantic reaction. He opened the drawers and hid inside the dresser behind the drawers. He eventually settled down and made himself right at home. The move to Kentucky went much smoother. I guess by then Bailey figured this is just what happens when you’re an Army cat. I had been looking forward to our next move, early next year, and how Bailey would do with it and the novelty of him learning all the new places to explore and find to hide.
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Clara and Bailey trying out which new bed
they like the best. (Oct 2009, KY) |
Getting married was no big adjustment for Bailey. He was already used to Aaron, as he spent nearly half the weekends each year with him in Ferndale. And, there was the one weekend in August 2003 with the big blackout in the northeastern US. He and I packed it up and headed south to South Bend to spend the weekend at Aaron’s. I usually left Bailey home and Keri would come stay at the house with him. But with no power in the miserable August heat and no idea when it would come back on, he made the road trip with me. First he came into work with me for a couple hours. Even without power, I had to make one last appointment with a family before they moved out of town. Bailey hid under the TV stand in the conference room while I did my work. He enjoyed exploring Aaron’s house and we safely made the trip back to Detroit when power returned a few days later.
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Curious Colton getting a playful paw from Bailer.
(Apr 2011, KY) |
Adjusting to our children coming along was probably an even bigger challenge for Bailer than moving. Pregnancies with Bailey were great. Bailey was one of those animals who sensed that “something was going on in there” and snuggled close even more than usual each time I was pregnant. I’ll never forget the first time I felt Clara move because Bailey was there to share it with me. We were lying on the couch in Texas. I was sneaking in a little cat nap with my kitty. He was lying half on my belly, half on the couch. Suddenly I felt that first miraculous flutter from my womb. At the same time, Bailey’s head popped up and looked at my belly. I know he felt it. Even now, I get teary eyed thinking of how we shared that wonderful moment together. Once Clara was born, and Colton too, it took him some time to get used to them. I fondly remember early mornings or bedtimes nursing Clara in her bedroom. The yellow chair that had been Bailey’s in Ferndale was in Clara’s room in Killeen. He was reluctant to relinquish his realm even for the purpose of feeding Clara. There I was, Boppy around my waist, baby across it breastfeeding, and Bailey either curled up beside Clara or sprawled along the back of the chair behind my head. Bailey mostly “tolerated them” as they got bigger. When it was just Clara, he would lie on the floor and let her play with him. When Colton came along, things were a little crazier and Bailey must have decided staying on the couch, sprawled in fireplace that has never been used, lying under the highchair taking it all in,
or hiding under the table on a kitchen chair were safer places to be. I won’t say Bailey sought out the kids’ attention, but when they gave it to him he appeased them for a bit, but was quick to bat them away or nip if they pushed his limits. But, he never avoided being around all the chaos just to be left alone. Particularly if we were in the basement and the kids were playing with the slide and tunnels. Bailey loved hiding in the tunnels, letting the kids chase him out and then repeating it all over again. He didn’t do it often, but he did occasionally climb up the steps and leap down the small slide. He didn’t seem to mind that the kids would sometimes confiscate his bed and play in it or that Colton had a habit of taking his hammock apart to run around wielding the bars like a sword.
Perhaps the biggest gift Bailey gave me over the years was helping me through the quiet, lonely nights of two, year long deployments. With children peacefully sleeping, the nights during deployments were painfully quiet. Bailey was my snuggle bug, my loyal companion, and faithful friend. He was all those things for all of his life with me, but it meant a million times more during the deployments. I could talk to him, complain to him, cry to him, worry with him and never need him to do more than just be there and purr.
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It didn't matter if he was too big, Bailey could find
a space to relax anywhere. (Oct 2010, KY) |
Bailey James definitely mellowed over the years. He was a little more into relaxing and a little less into playing. I’ll admit that I was fine with this. As he aged, I got busier and I had less energy in the evenings. His wanting to snuggle more and play less was right up my alley. Despite this, he still remained the same loving, playful, mischievous and clever cat my sister forced on me and I fell in love with.
Over the years I have had to spend days and weeks away from home and was not there to take of Bailey. Whether I was traveling to South Bend every other weekend or visiting family in Detroit once we were in the Army, Bailey James spent plenty of time alone as the king of his castle. I would not have been able to do that so easily without the help of many wonderful family and friends I trusted to help take care of Bailey. When I wasn't there to love him, I knew he was in the good care of someone who did. My dear Aaron put up with Bailey for 11 years. If we had been married when the opportunity to adopt Bailey had come along another lucky family would have loved him. Aaron has an allergy to cats and he suffered through it because I couldn’t bear to think of getting rid of my Bailer. The drops we gave Bailey every day in his food helped the allergy be more tolerable, but whenever Aaron would come home from being gone for a while it would still take many weeks for him to re-acclimate to Bailey’s dander. I am so thankful to Aaron for hanging in there because I can’t imagine my life without Bailey James having been a part of it. I know that Aaron doesn’t have a strong affection for Bailey, but there are those moments that I did catch a glimpse that maybe Aaron cared for him a bit. Those rare occasions where Aaron let Bailey lie on his chest on the couch or snuggle with us in bed. I’d like to remember their relationship as perhaps more than just tolerant.
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One last day of loving snuggles for me and my Bailey James.
(Aug 2012, KY) |
I don’t have many regrets regarding my Bailey. I do wish I had more pictures of him hiding in his silly places or doing the crazy things he did. I wish I had more pictures of me with him. That’s hard to do when I’m usually the one behind the camera. Though, we did mange to capture one last, great photo together that last day that I will always adore. I know that I didn’t take advantage of every single opportunity to love on or snuggle with Bailey. Life gets in the way at times and my drive to get things done or have some task be completed uninterrupted did cause me to ignore or discourage Bailey’s attention on occasion. Now, looking back, I wish I’d never done that. I wish I’d been less selfish and just loved him more. But, in the end, Bailey had no doubt that I loved him with everything in me and that’s all he ever asked for.
Bailey’s death has left a hole in my life, emptiness in my heart, and an absence in our home. He was a part of every day and now he’s just gone. Everything happened so fast that there wasn’t really time to process it. I didn’t have the chance to get used to the idea that he would be gone soon. I didn’t have the chance to accept that I was going to have to say goodbye to my beloved Bailey James. I hurt so bad right now and I’m just getting by moment by moment each night. I know that with time the pain will lessen and the warmth from these memories will fill the spaces in my life and heart. The missing parts of our daily routine and the general absence of our special cat from our home will get easier to cope with and the tears will fade. It will take a while for the nights to stop being miserable. Especially with Aaron gone for four weeks; he left four days before Bailey did. Those are by far the hardest. At the same time I wish Aaron was here for me, part of me wonders if it is better this way and that it happened with this timing to serve a purpose. Without Aaron here to distract me I’m forced to deal with Bailey’s absence on my own. I can perhaps come full circle before Aaron returns at the end of the month. If he was home I’d be coping and grieving but be confronted with Bailey’s absence again the next time Aaron left for a long time. It’s the nights when I’m home alone that I most enjoyed cuddling with Bailey and having quiet time with him. I am so extremely thankful I was able to bring him home for one last night and day to love each other before he passed away. That last night of lying together in bed cuddling and sleeping and the following day of just snuggling and watching the Olympics together while the kids were off at daycare will always mean more to me than some can understand. I will probably wait longer than I should before washing the blanket on our bed because I don’t want to wash the Bailey hair off it. I will always remember and cherish the sound and feeling of my Bailey James lying beside me purring with such strength and love. That’s how I want to remember my Bailer, not going to the vet and saying goodbye because we couldn’t get there in time.
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Visiting at the vet. We were so hopeful he was getting better.
(Jul 2012, KY) |
Although it’s very hard at times, I need to focus on thinking that things happen for a reason. I can’t wonder what would have happened if he’d been taken to the vet a day earlier; though I do wonder if things had been different if he had. Did I miss some signs in the days or weeks or months leading up to this? I can't really say for sure, but I will probably wonder for a while. I cannot feel guilty that he got sick while we were away on a family vacation, but instead be thankful my cousin Michelle was there for him and took him to the vet for us. The doctors and techs at Helmwood did their very best and gave an incredible effort to help make my Bailey better. I cannot thank them enough for that. They came to care for him dearly as he spent those ten days with them. I am very thankful that he wasn’t alone in his last hours; that he was at a place where he was familiar and comfortable, and that he was surrounded by people who wanted the best for him. Bailey made the decision for himself that I was prepared to make for him. Perhaps he somehow knew what was happening and preferred to have our last hours together be more peaceful and loving with me not knowing what would happen the next day. I like to think he chose to leave this world on his own so that he could remember us at home happy and hopeful, not saying goodbye with his final breath. And, even in death, Bailey managed to send one last loving message to us. Keri and our mom came down to Kentucky when Bailey died. Keri had hoped to get here before he left, but it just wasn’t meant to be. On their drive back to Michigan Keri saw several rainbows. We like to think that those were a sign sent by Bailey, who was by then resting happily and peacefully on The Rainbow Bridge, letting us know he was all good and would be waiting for us as long as it takes.
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My sweet, snuggly kitty enjoying life as the
king of the house, one month before Clara
arrived. (Jan 2008, TX) |
I chose to have Bailey cremated privately and requested he be curled up lying in his bed when it happened. I am comforted with the image of him resting peacefully and quietly in his soft brown bed and am glad that’s how his physical body parted with this world. I will find something spectacularly special to do with my Bailey’s cremains. I’m certain one of the things will include using some ashes to have a glass Christmas ornament made. I just can’t imagine a Christmas tree without Bailey there basking in the warmth of the soft lights. Yes, that will be perfect. During the rest of the year, my Bailey's ornament will have a special place in the curio cabinet he spent so many restful hours perched on.
I am so thankful for Bailey James. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to love such an amazing creature. I am so thankful that I was lucky enough to be loved by such an incredible sole. After 11 years of knowing and loving my special cat I’m still not a cat lover – I’m a Bailey lover, and I always will be.
