One year, plus one day. A lot happens in 366 days. A son takes his first steps, learns to talk, and grows from a baby to a little boy. A daughter learns to sing the "ABCs", learns to count to twenty, and discovers her calling in childhood is to be the most princessy little darling she can manage. Children dazzle, amaze, and fill the days with the joyful spectacle we are privileged to witness as parents. A mother learns that single-handedly managing the daily chores of running a household with a pre-schooler and a toddler under foot are, in fact, possible, albeit quite challenging and exhausting. Lifelong friendships are forged, old ones renewed, and tears of sorrow are shed for good-byes that happened far earlier than they should have. A wife is reminded daily, by the absence of her husband, that the old adage of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" definitely rings true. A woman comes to the realization that she has finally grown into a person that is satisfied with her roles as a wife, a mother, a professional, a friend, a daughter, and a sister; and that this person is someone she is proud of and happy to see in the mirror, day after day.
For 366 days a father, a husband, is far away from those he loves and those who adore him. He is fighting to protect our well-being, our freedoms, and defend a set of values and beliefs he feels are priceless. He is living in a tent among dozens of men like himself and awaiting the next letter and package from home. He is foregoing meals and showers because his duties demand it. He is waiting in lines to make a phone call or use a computer. He is staying awake late just so he can Skype with his family and watch his children play on a computer monitor. All the while, he is missing the son's first steps, the daughter's giggles, and all the little moments many take for granted.
In the span of 366 days countless pictures and videos are sent through cyberspace and around the world in cardboard boxes. Paintings, colored pictures, and craft projects sent across the globe have decorated the small personal space of one soldier, in one tent. All of these things are an effort to keep the father and the husband connected to the family that loves and misses him so. A small cell phone becomes your lifeline to the other half of your heart. Heaven forbid you leave it on the kitchen counter while you do bathtime upstairs, or in the car when you run quickly into the store. You might miss that glorious chime that means your love is sitting at a computer in Afghanistan and has some free time to chat.
Although 366 days apart (save for 16 glorious days in July and August) may seem hard, it has to be done. There is no alternative. Each person does what is necessary to keep the bond and the love stronger than the day before. Relationships are sustained and flourish despite the miles and months apart. A lot of perspective and understanding can be gained in 366 days. A person can be reminded of the things that are most worth fighting for and those that just aren't worth the energy.
When those days apart are in the past we are reminded that every tear, every moment of fear and anxiety, and every sleepless night was spent waiting for something unimaginably phenomonal. That moment your eyes connect for the first time, actually seeing he is safe, knowing that your family and your heart are once again whole. Nothing beats that moment. Being together, it was all worth it, just to be together.
Now that our 366 days are behind us we look forward to moving on. You can't make up for time lost. You can't get back lost kisses and lost hugs, though, we'll certainly try to make up for them. You can only forge ahead, make new memories, savor the little moments and remember why you have committed to being together. We will work through the rough patches, laugh over silly things, and smile at the joys.
I am choosing to focus on the positive things that have occured in our 366 days. Life wasn't all bubble baths and playtime. Let's be honest, it's life, sucky and annoying things happen. But, I would rather focus on how this past year has strengthend me, Aaron, and our family. We spent a year apart, but we made it through it together.
