Wednesday, June 22, 2011

How Do You Do It?

It's a question my friends and family have asked me many times over the course of the, so far, one and a half deployments Aaron and I have gone through. My typical response is, "one day at a time and don't get consumed with worry." I focus on the tasks for the day and try not to let the nagging worry in the back of my mind overwhelm me. That usually works. Usually being the operative word, there. Other days the answer to that question is "one moment at a time." On days like today, yesterday, and certainly tomorrow and a few more to follow, I end up asking myself that question. "How can I do this?" How can I do it when I'm struggling to cope with the loss of a young soldier, one who I knew, who came to the house many times and enjoyed bar-b-ques, laughs, and happy times with my family and friends? How can I do it when I can feel my own heart breaking because I know that Aaron's heart is breaking and he is grieving so deeply for the loss of a friend? How can I do it when out there a family is meeting the Flag draped coffin of their son who died fighting side by side with my husband and friends? There are no answers, except "with the support of those who love us". I only know that I, Aaron, and all the others affected by this tragedy will somehow make it through.

It's events like this that also call to mind the reason I chose to support Aaron when he embarked on his Army career. Being a soldier is an honorable calling. Perhaps, the most honorable, but certainly, we are biased in our opinion. Being a soldier, and a soldier's wife, is also a very demanding and exhausting undertaking. It's downright stressful and does nothing to prevent premature graying of the hair! Though, I have not for a moment regretted my decision to stand by Aaron and support him whole-heartedly in his decision to join the Army.

Generations of men have chosen to step forward and defend our nation. The soldiers fighting on the battlefields in Iraq and Afghanistan are no different that those who rode on horseback and fought for our Nation's independence in the Revolutionary War, or battled on the shores of France in WWII, or any other war Veteran for that matter. They share the same bond in that they are fighting to defend the freedoms their predecessors fought to earn. They share a belief in a people that are worthy of being defended and who deserve the opportunities afforded them.

Yet, this generation of Veterans doesn't seem to enjoy the praise and gratitude from the same volumes of people previous Veterans have. Should we be any less thankful to Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans because we don't agree with the politics of the wars they are fighting? Did we not learn that lesson from the Vietnam War? Where is the patriotism that invited the ticker-tape parades? Instead, we have protestors at funerals of service members who died for their country. How does that make any sense? Regardless of your political views and which side of the aisle you agree with, these soldiers are doing the job they were sent to do. Most give more than 100% and some give their lives. And they do it all fighting an enemy that would prefer our nation be wiped from the planet. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have them fight in the enemies backyard, as opposed to my backyard. And if that means saying good-bye to my love so he can do that for us, I'm willing to accept the challenges that accompany it.

Like it or not, there are people who hate America and have once before tried to weaken our spirit. We learned quite quickly that that spirit can be strong and powerful after 9-11.  I'd rather we not have to find out the hard way, again, exactly how exuberant our sense of patriotism can be. I know patriotism is alive. I see it in the sea of Flags in the neighborhoods I drive through daily, in the reports of bikers who set up walls against protestors, and I see it on the faces of the fallen soldiers whose pictures flood the internet. I'd just like to see it more in the mainstream public. 

Well, I guess I'll get off my "soap box" for now. Sometimes, when emotions are high, you just need to get things off your chest, right?

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